2003-07-04 - 11:46 p.m.
ohh...july 4th.
i spent tonight at work with three girls ranging in the ages of 13-16. and i went all out to make sure that they could see fireworks and we we did they were very unappreciative and it made me very grumpy...then i got even grumpier because the fact that i was grumpy to begin with made me feel old and parent like. work sucked tonight. teenagers really are no fun unless you are teenagers along side with them and tonight i was an old person.
i was driving home thinking about writting in this tonight. now that i am here i forgot all that i wanted to say. and i have three beers and two smokes...that is a bad combo.oh i remember one thing i was thinking!!!
it bugs me that my relastionship is the only thing i have to write about these days. it sucks that being in love has to be so draining right now. i wish i could write:
alex and i are doing really well. and today i went to this play that made me think about frog hopping patterns. and then later i got ice cream.and it was tasty.
or something along those lines.
but really since the strongest feeling i have for alex right now is longing it is hard to think about anything else.
last night ashleigh, my best friend's girlfriend, and i hung out at my house and drank forty tasty ounces of malty liquor. we sat around the pool and talked about...well...long distance love and how much it sucks. surprise! anyway, it was good and sometimes a bit awkward. max tells me so much about her and them as a couple. and lately about how he is feeling that they are not going to last mcuh longer. hearing her talk about them and him is so different. and i think maybe i shouldn't be hearing both sides of this story. it puts me in a wierd position. but she is sweet and smart and pretty fucking hot...and this is his first girlfriend i feel good about.
i keep hearing the boom of fireworks outside my house...i wonder if that is what war sounds like. it's a good thing my dog is deaf...otherwise she would be sure that a war is exactly what is going on..and i guess she is right, it is just not right outside my house.
i have been thinking about ireland alot recently. i wanna go back. if not to live again, just to visit. i had a funny dream about my old flat and ben, my dickhead flatmate from dublin...but in my dream, he was really nice and the flat was clean.
.mary...
