2003-01-30 - 12:18 a.m.
still in tulsa.still unemployed...still grumpy.
i think i am coming to the realization that i am here for awhile...and it doesn't really help.
talking to alex the last few times has been...well not good. and when i think it about it...it is because i am in a funktherefore oversensitive and whiney.both of aren't doing a damn thing therefore have not a whole lot to talk about...and i am nervous about him coming out here.
part of me feels like we are just doing this all over again...you know the senario:
baby, i miss you.
why don't you come out here so we can be together and figure out what we are gonna do....
(a few months pass)
well...i gotta do this you gotta do that...so then we are apart again and feeling miserable...
this is a horrible time in a persons life to be involved with someone else.
we have no idea what we are doing and it's the most inportant time to be doing something for ourselves...something to get our lives started.and i am finding to hard to find that something to be the same thing.
i just feel we are setting ourselves up.but whatelse do you do?
i can't let him go.
so..i'm not going to. he will be out here this weekend and we will spend the next week looking for jobs and apartments with either no lease or short ones.
wow...sleepiness just hit me hard...and while i have i want to get to bed earlier than 3am tonight...
