2002-04-13 - 1:34 p.m.
it saturday afternoon and beautiful outside...and here i am in the fucking computer lab wondering what the fuck i am going to write for my senior sem paper.
i hate this.
not to mention i have yet to go home and shower. i feel a little nasty...need a shower and the smell of alex is strong on his t-shirt that i am wearing which makes it hard to concentrate on my freaking paper.
needles to say, i spent the night with alex last night. it was really amazing. we finally brought up the fact that we don't know what we are doing and we don't want to define it. i am leaving this town soon...defining it would make him officially my boyfriend. and for some reason that doesn't need to happen. it was interesting...the whole talk at 3am...he told me he was having sex with someone else on occasion...and i told him i really didn't know how i felt about that...and i don't.i told him i stayed the night with jen and that felt good.i told him that the night before i wanted nothing more then to sleep in his bed when he wasn't home. he told me his bed is always open for me crawling in it and just sleeping. basicallly we decided that we are both really happy that we are together doing whatever it is that we are doing. i feel crazy close to him now. i want him more now. i think i might i have to start seeing him more...and it appears that thats what we are going to do. then we had really intense sex...it was amazing...it was the most intense sexual moment i think i have ever shared with anyone. beautiful. this whole thing is really crazy. he is good. i know this now.
