2001-12-22 - 8:45 p.m.
i am getting settled and amazingly lazy here at home. i am not doing anything of any real substance. and for some reason it feels good. but in about two days i be over that and get restless...and more lazy. that's what home does to me.
i have started getting ahold of people here. had a wonderful night with the little sister. we had a slumber party. drank spiked egg nog, vodka, and smoked a lot of butts...she sure is growing up...and i like it. a lot.
hung out with brian last night. went to the bar in search of other high school friends and found a few. i was completely prepared to be bored with him. and i wasn't. it was nice. for the first time in my memory we talked like good friends...about being far away from high school...about that being so amazingly good for the both of us. it was really good to see him.
max gets home today sometime. i don't know when. i don't know if i will hear from him tonight and idon't know how much i care. i am a little anxious to find out what mood he will be in for the next week ad a half. i hope it's a good one...if not, i hope it's one he will be able to talk about. i am worried about him. i wil always be.
sometimes i feel that katy soaks up my personality and i hate it.i suddenly feel that i am completely void of what it is that makes me...me. and the worse part is i know that she really doesn't hear a word i say unless i am talking about her. i do love her.
but i can't usually handle being in the same room as her.
well...that's all for now.
sweet dreams.
.mary...
