2001-12-01 - 8:22 p.m.
so one day in the semi near future i am going to graduate from college. for the first time in my life i can do whatever the fuck i want to...
and all of the options i have thought of i can't help think i want to do them solely cuz i don't know what else to do.and so really i feel just as trapped and just as unprepared as i did when i left high school.
fuck me i am 23. and i love being 23. or did i just hate being 16...maybe both.
and i could go to grad school...and then i would wonder if school is the only thing i know how to do.
and i could go to central america with max...and then i would wonder if i was just following something that i am terrified will go away.
and i could get a "real" job...no never mind. i don't know what those are and even if i did i don't think i would want one. kinda like hot dogs.
i do know that:
i cannot wait tables for more than 6 months after i graduate.
i cannot and will not stay in this town.
i do not want to be in the states any longer.
i do not (nor will i ever) like pickles.
